By Hannah Emory, DWC Blog Contributor

During the last year, I’ve been on an intentional fitness journey, spurred along by the privilege of getting back into a dance studio to train consistently, even amid the ongoing pandemic. All through lockdown, I was in remote university courses for dance, yet I saw a significant decrease in my desire to maintain my fitness and nutrition goals. This was because I did not have a dancing community physically around me and had very little space at home to maintain a usual training rhythm. I feel excited and so thankful to be once again moving toward my goals in a way that feels challenging and freeing.

Yet, the time I spent away from the studio, and quite far away from my personal fitness goals, caused me to think a lot about how I can maintain my sense of body positivity and self-love in the midst of changing life circumstances. I would not trade what I learned during this time, because life will always throw unexpected circumstances at us, but our need for self-love and self-respect is unchanging and requires maintaining.

In any case, during a pandemic or not, when dance spaces are made into goal-driven environments that focus overmuch on what the body looks like, a high level of self-criticism can develop and turn into a lifelong struggle if not kept in check. For example, I have struggled with issues of body dysmorphia and disordered eating, and have watched my dancer friends go through some of the same struggles. One can start to feel like they are not a true dancer if the goal post of self-acceptance is constantly moving and, unfortunately, there are aspects of the dance world that can make self-acceptance very difficult to achieve. Add on a global pandemic and the consequent stagnation/interruption in training goals, and that feeling of illegitimacy, at least for me, definitely increased. For this year, I know it has taken a lot of mindfulness and having the right people around me to heal, refocus, and keep my perspective on myself and my body positive.

Self-acceptance, self-celebration even, is not easily fought for and won. In our dance journeys, there will be a lot of maintaining, unlearning, relearning, and self-connection that needs to happen if we have negative messaging from our past or have experienced a discouraging setback in our progress. Community is a huge piece of that relearning and healing, and I hope everyone reading this can connect with others through dance in some form. An uplifting dance community is invaluable and makes the load lighter while we’re moving toward a stronger relationship with the self.

I cannot bang the drum about community enough. But, in addition to that, here are a couple of personal practices that have helped me so much this year and can be done with and without others:

Gratitude-based movement. Often dancing requires a lot of mental concentration on learning form and content. Though being in class and learning new material is exhilarating, it’s akin to reading a textbook or working away at a craft until it’s honed. In my experience, the work of learning dance is very mentally taxing and requires the body to function more like a tool. This can cause a bit of a feeling of disconnection between the body and mind/heart. So, I believe that every dancer would benefit from some sort of moving mindfulness/gratitude practice outside rehearsal spaces that focuses on thanking the body and self for all the work being achieved. For me, I have been taking tai chi classes as part of my degree program and it has been so helpful in guiding me into feeling empowered, connected to myself, and grateful for the body I have right now. One of the focus phrases we use frequently is to always have an inner smile if something feels difficult or if the mind wanders; and at the end of every class, we think of something to be grateful for and bow in thanksgiving for the goodness in our lives. It’s a beautiful way to start the dance day and one that reminds me of how capable my body is and how grateful I am to exist as myself. Some other examples of moving gratitude practices that come to mind would be walking, meditation, yoga, pilates, and Feldenkrais. There are so many options available and anything that brings you into a state of gratitude for yourself and your life is well worth the time!

Studying my body + personalizing nutrition. I find myself having a lot more respect and love for my body when I know how it functions and when I’m intentional about getting it the fuel it needs. Our bodies are unique, and there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to dancing our best. The most empowering thing I’ve done for my dancing journey is paying attention to the specific questions and feelings that come up for me during my training days and then pursuing answers for those questions. This personal focus was new to me until just recently and paying attention to my way of being a dancer revolutionized my practice. I have learned a lot about myself; some personal examples of discoveries I made would be…

I’ve always struggled with joint pain/fatigue while turning out at the barre, and my teacher let me know when I asked her about it that activating my core muscles will help create a feeling of more space in my body and make turning out much easier on my joints.
Stomach cramps and chronic physical fatigue are pretty big issues for me. Yet, I started paying attention to my diet and noticed over time that eating lighter, protein-focused meals eased my digestive issues and helped with endurance throughout the day.
I find a lot of choreographic inspiration and bodily relaxation through improv work. If I’m feeling mentally fatigued during a long dance day, there’s nothing like going to an empty space and moving without goals or expectations. Integrating active stretching and meditative breathing into my improv movements adds extra benefits to the practice.

These are just some of the personal discoveries that have helped me take more ownership over my dancing and my health, and have led me to feel more connected to and positive about my body. Problem-solving discoveries are a beautiful way to quickly move one from feeling discouraged and incapable to feeling proud and excited about our unique dance expression. If you have questions about yourself, take the leap and pursue those inquiries with teachers and your dance community. Study your body and find out what works for your personal journey. You’ll be so amazed at what you find out! (A bonus suggestion would be to keep track of your questions and discoveries in a notebook or voice memos so you can look back on your progress.)

I wish you the best on continuing toward self-celebration, radical body positivity, and joy-filled

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Maintaining Body Positivity and Self-Discovery in Dance