The Power of Movement in Healing Trauma

Isabel Reck

has been dancing for 5 years; the majority of her training being at Cornerstone Studio. She has trained in ballet, contemporary, lyrical, jazz, hip-hop, tap, break dancing, and aerial silks, although contemporary has always been her go-to. Her favorite thing about being a Dancewear Center Ambassador is being able to explore a side of being a dancer she never thought she would be a part of.

By Isabel Reck

Medical Disclosure: Dancewear Center does not claim to have any medical expertise on any circumstances or illnesses discussed. This writing speaks to Isabel’s personal experience and opinions. If you or someone you know needs help please refer to the resources listed at the bottom of this post. If you or someone you know needs immediate medical attention, call 911.

Trigger Warning: Trauma, Sexual Assault, Rape, Suicide, Depression, and Anxiety.

Many of us have been through trauma. I have read so many inspiring articles from amazing women saying “#metoo,”  “TimesUp,” or “I am not a victim, I am a survivor.” They all have something to say, some good to come from this betrayal of humanity. It is gruesomely common and, at times, the trauma sustained can feel irreparable and impossibly taxing. I would know. At 17, I became a victim of statutory rape.

The Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network (RAINN) states that 1 in 6 women have been raped--and that’s just the bare minimum; because how can we get accurate statistics when this is an issue that goes mostly unreported? This heinous crime has seeped into every industry, every neighborhood, every community. 

Only five months later, I feel more like a victim than a survivor. No matter how hard I try--and I have been trying really hard--I haven’t been able to find that empowering spin other people have about being sexually assaulted and raped. I am someone who has always been a hard-core optimist. Maybe that's why my inability to find the silver lining is so crushing? I feel this drive to share my story in the hopes it will empower others—but what do I have to say that those before me haven’t already said? Some close to me are scared of me sharing this story because they worry about the consequences; but my gut tells me it’s something I need to do - and I’m done not listening to my gut.

Over my life, and especially recently, I have experienced some considerable lows. I have been in therapy since I was 12, when I landed myself in the ER for suicidal ideations. Since the night I was raped I have developed PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) in addition to my pre-existing anxiety and depression. As my lovely therapist can tell you, I have talked a lot. I have talked about my feelings, dredged up my past, and attempted to heal my soul for 5 years in talk therapy. Despite this, there has always been a need for more than words to heal. 

As a part of my recovery process, I continuously turned to dance improvisation, which has always been movement I find incredibly healing. Many times, my body has felt weak, dirty, used, and not my own. The only thing I have found to mend this damage is the power of proving these feelings wrong. Feeling the strength and control I have over my frame during times when I feel that this body is not my own. When I am able to hold myself in a mind-space of healing and patience, dance is able to release and teach myself what an infinite amount of words simply cannot.

I won't sit here and lie, saying that even on my worst days, dance is my cure-all. That said, I truly believe that my body is, and always has been, trying to look out for me. Dance taught me this, and it is knowledge I wish I could pass along to everyone hurting. Every time I dance, I feel like I am taking back one more piece of myself that I lost that summer night.

In my mission to help others through their own trauma, I am hosting a series of online (for now) movement workshops facilitated by Heather Smith of ObnoxiouslyFit. These workshops are for anybody who has experienced trauma, but will be specifically tailored towards those recovering from rape and/or sexual assault. All are welcome: our first few workshops will be “pay-what-you-can,” and no formal dance training is required. Click here for more information and to register!

In closing, I leave you with this:

Lift up your foot and look at the calloused sole. Think of the thousands of steps, both pedestrian and in dance, your feet have taken with you. Now hold your thighs. Remember every time they have helped you rise up off the floor again. Feel your heart, still beating even when you thought you were going to collapse, puke, and die.

I challenge you to do one simple thing. Next time you dance, be it in a crowded master class or alone in your bedroom, dance for you. Find that gut feeling within you, and go where it leads you. Witness the power of your biology. Know it's ok to feel sad, and anxious, and angry, and grief: but never forget the beauty of you.

RESOURCES

If you or someone you know is struggling with a sexual assault: (RAINN) Call 800.656.HOPE (4673) to be connected with a trained staff member from a sexual assault service provider in your area.

If you have suicidal thoughts, click HERE. 

Call 1-800-273-TALK in the US, or visit suicide.org to find a helpline in your country.

Text “HOME” to 741741 Crisis Text Line serves anyone, in any type of crisis, providing access to free, 24/7 support via a medium people already use and trust.

If you are a parent who is wanting to help their children with COVID-19 related depression and anxiety, read this.

Click HERE for Mental health resources for Washington State. 

READ: The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.

Click HERE for resources from the American Psychological Association (APA) on trauma in children and youth.