Body Positivity In Dance

Trigger Warning: Eating disorders, Mental Health Concerns

By Hannah Emory. DWC Blog Contributor

Childhood body-negative studio experiences:

For all of my life, my body has been what most people would think is not a conventional “dancer body.” While there is no shade intended to be thrown to those who are of a different physique, I was never a naturally thin person and yet constantly felt like my life would be easier if I were, that the thin dancers at my childhood studio got the most attention and respect paid to their work. I knew there were certain roles I would not likely be considered for because of the aesthetic desired versus the one I represented. In another space, I was told that I am “the nerdy, girl-next-door type,” but “not the leading lady type,” and I felt that held true for how I was perceived in the dance space as well.

Growing up in what I felt to be a body-negative/body-shaming dance space for me was almost like the old analogy of a frog being slowly boiled. You’re in the midst of the heat, yet being slowly desensitized to it until it’s too late to save yourself. From my personal experience, body negativity can be so ingrained in dance education spaces that it’s hard to even recognize it happening. Especially when body-negative messaging and practices are covert rather than overt. I became so used to feeling poorly about myself and receiving nonchalant messages about how my body was not quite acceptable, that I thought it was normal, even deserved.

Throughout my young dancing years, I took hiatuses from dancing many times when the pressure and pain of not living up to expectations became too much. Then upon my return, I would see folks I was dancing with a couple years before were now a few levels ahead of me and being cast in principal roles in the dance company. So the vicious cycle would continue when I realized I was nowhere near as conditioned, technical, or artistically expressive as them, because time had gone by.

My confidence would waiver again, the body image issues from my wee years would rise to the surface, and I would either severely cut back my class schedule or leave dancing for a season altogether. Yet, there was little time made for investing in the emotional wellbeing of dancers either in technique classes or in the member-exclusive company, and so there was no one there to notice that I and other dancers were slipping through the cracks.

These turbulent years certainly contributed to the zeal I have for diversity in the dance world now, because I became exhausted with the old hat expectations of the dance world yester-years. For years, I dreamed of a more just and body-inclusive dance world… then I realized that it was up to me to make that world a reality, in whatever way I can.

Choosing body positivity:

Through mental health counseling, I have had an opportunity to explore how deeply negative thoughts about myself and my dancing have burrowed into my self-image as a result of the conditioning I’ve received since I was young. I’ve begun unpacking how those thought patterns have affected my life and thoughts, have led me to treat myself and my work with disrespect, and to self-harm through intense exercising and disordered eating. Yet, all the while, I know I just wanted to live in the simplicity of loving my art and self-expression. That is the evil at the root of body negativity; it robs everyone of self-love.

I realized that the difference between body positivity and body negativity can be subtle yet pervasive. The difference between wanting to be strong or wanting to be a small leotard size. The difference between genuine happiness for someone else and toxic comparison. The difference between loving dance for itself and wanting to be admired. A subtle shift is enough to make what should be a joy into an obligation, or a mental prison.

“That is the evil at the root of body negativity; it robs everyone of self-love.”

These patterns of pervasive self-harming thoughts and habits started shifting for me ever so slightly once I got to university. I could certainly feel myself holding onto the desire to meet superficial aesthetic standards for a while, even though I had hoped that at the university level such expectations would be a thing of the past. As I grew in confidence as a young adult navigating the world, I got tired of being evaluated on aesthetic standards alone. Since day one, I have worked hard in my university program and wanted to be evaluated primarily on my work ethic and attention to detail. For me, realizing that body positivity was the key to unlocking the rest of my dancing career came because of a breaking point. It came because I was exhausted with being counted out time and again, and seeing others struggle to stand out in the midst of a popularity contest. It came with growing up and realizing that dance can be (and has to be) many things to many people or it loses its joy. It came with a desire to help people of all body modalities to find the indescribable joy in dance that I found. It came with heartbreak but also hope: to be a cycle breaker, so that no other dancers will be made to feel less-than because of their body.

Most of all, it came with solidifying my own philosophy. The way you show up on earth in your physical form is the most deeply personal and powerful thing we have available to us. I believe that we are spiritual beings having a physical experience, that our experience of being human is one and the same with our bodily experience. So, to me, devaluation of the body is devaluation of the spirit, a disregard for the core of humanness. Not everyone approaches it with that set of beliefs, but from a pragmatic standpoint, our identities are intrinsically tied to our physical bodies, while at the same time transcending the physical. We perceive each other physically, as well as emotionally and intellectually, simultaneously. There are levels to being human, and each one of them counts. I believe for that reason, there should be awe when encountering a human with a body; there should be respect and love. There should be joy and acceptance. This is especially critical in dance spaces.

When I realized that some part of my dance career would include being a teacher, I recognized that I had to unpick my own body-negative thought patterns. I had to heal myself from my internalized self-reproach, I had to get healthy, or any teaching I do would be heavy with judgement toward myself, and most likely toward others as well. My aesthetic judgments toward myself and toward other dancers had been taken over by the body-negative language and practices I received as a child and young adult. The next generation of teachers need tools for making body positivity an inherent part of their curricula, and unteaching body negativity in the dance world has to be intentional for us to make any progress.

Body positivity in the studio:

On my journey of deconstructing my own body-negativity, I have had to employ curiosity and become very uncomfortable, and ask questions to form new patterns of thought. Some key questions I ask myself regularly are:

Do I still cling to negative thoughts and expectations of myself? Why?
How do I practically deconstruct my body-negative thought patterns today?
What amount of ownership am I letting others have over my narrative?
Does another dancer’s physical appearance alter my opinion of their dance work, and why?
To what extent do I automatically judge other dancers before I’ve really taken in and paid respect to their work?
How can I lovingly participate in my own wellness and healing?
How can I encourage the wellness and healing of others today?

Asking myself these questions has already led to really positive results. I have found freedom in working with my body on a daily basis, wherever I find her at and without judgement. I find that I see the beauty in other dancers more readily because I am working to shut off voices of judgement about their work and mine, because I believe that setting yourself free also sets others free. I have found work by other dancers that is truly comforting, inspiring, and refreshing because it breaks down barriers and creates new possibilities.

If I were to give a short list of suggestions to studios and universities about how to train with body-positive frameworks, it would be:

Meet your dancers where they are at, then give them tools to become more of themselves. Give them lots of opportunities to discover their creative voices and movement languages in a non-judgemental space. Please, don’t apply limiting labels. (hard-and-fast categorizations of dancers about technique or performance qualities that limit the dancer’s sense of possibility and growth for the future, like “you’re good at turns but bad at barre” or “you’re a comedic performer, but not lead/principal material,” the implication of those comments being that there is no possibility for those dancers to develop those things, or that their body type makes them suited to some kinds of movement/performance, but not all kinds of movement/performance)
Seek out diverse educational imagery and performance footage, and invite in guest teachers and artists from many different backgrounds, including those who know how to artistically and technically work with a lot of different bodies.
Educate yourselves and your dancers in embodiment/grounding practices, accessible nutrition, and injury prevention, with the acknowledgement that every body is unique and deserves personalized wellness attention. A well dancer is an excellent dancer.
Keep interrogating your own body image practices and assumptions, for your teaching and yourself. Continually seek out media and information that opens your perspective. Know that body positivity and self-love in the dance world have to be intentionally exemplified, not merely assumed to be a reality.

I offer these suggestions as one who has not yet been a dance educator, but has been a student for many years. I acknowledge that there are unique challenges to educators within different dance spaces, but since dance is a physical art, I believe it to be imperative that we work to get the body positivity issue right. I offer these suggestions as a student who knows what it feels like to have had a few very encouraging and life-giving teachers, and unfortunately, a few teachers who added to my pain in this area. I offer these suggestions with the hope that more dancers will receive from their teachers what I ultimately had to learn for myself.

Self-love and body positivity in dance spaces must be intentional, and educators are the first line of offering dancers a healthier way to see themselves and a brighter way of looking at the world. So that dancers everywhere will know their body (and every body) is a dancing body.

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