The New Kid, Again (Pt. II)
Part 2
By Robbi Moore, DWC Ambassador
Pronunciation: Rob-bee More| Pronouns: they/them
I found a moment of relief as an artist in the 2nd iteration of Dani Tirrell’s “Black Bois”. We sold out The Moore Theatre on Valentine’s Day 2020; One Night Only. In a cast of only black people, I could just represent myself. It was truly a legendary community celebration. Even in this moment of happiness, I was still very physically and emotionally burnt out. I performed in the Seattle International Dance Festival Mini-Fest with Khambatta Dance Company, and the next performance on my calendar with The Tint Festival, which I had choreographed for.
And then the whole world shut down.
There is so much grief that I, all of you reading this, and countless other people have not even begun to sort through from the last three years alone. I know so many artists in Seattle who moved here right before the pandemic who feel like they are “The New Kid” the same way I did, because they spent their first years here indoors, unable to interact with or meet people. Some people did not get to have an in-person graduation.
I had the privilege of being able to dance all throughout the pandemic, just not in the same capacity as I was doing before. There were a lot of beautiful discoveries that came out of the pandemic, many of them personal. Not only did I have the space and time to really be honest with myself, but I finally had the space to work out things I had been avoiding. I went to therapy which helped me organize and clarify a lot of situations that had happened in my personal life. I started to be more honest with my community about who I was, what I stood for, and what I did not. The fact that I am a Dancewear Center Ambassador, writing all of this to you is a testament to the self-work and re-evaluating that I have been doing over the past three years.
Being truer to myself has drastically changed my personal relationships and career. Throughout the pandemic, and especially in the past 6 months alone, I have ended a lot of personal and professional relationships. I have also started many new ones. I started putting my values first and asserted them, which is bound to shake things up when people who met me in 2018-2019 were meeting a very different version of me. It had been painful, but also necessary. Like removing a splinter or getting an adjustment at the chiropractor. I consider myself a TRUE freelancer now, meaning, I am not dancing with any company at all. I am currently only presenting solo work and teaching. It is not as much as I want to be doing, but it is mentally and emotionally necessary for now. I still worry about falling on my face without the safety net of being from here, but I recently had the epiphany that one of the main reasons I did not feel like I was truly supported here was because I was not really opening up about what my needs were. I was just leaving what people thought of me up to chance. I was not lying about who I was or what I wanted, but I found that I needed to do more to connect the dots of my life for people so that this community understands who I am and what I have been through in my own words, so that expectations are crystal clear.
I am “The New Kid” once again, only this time, instead of aimlessly floating in the ocean letting the waves of opportunity take me places that may not always be in my best interest, I am surfing the waves I want to be on and making proactive decisions.
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