Dance and Motherhood
By Andrea Hines, DWC Ambassador
pronunciation: And-rea High-ns | pronouns: she/they
Becoming a mother is a major life goal for many women in the world. But what does it look like when you’re a dancer? So much of the aesthetic of ballet relies on your body looking a certain way, so what happens when you no longer fit that mold? These were questions I started to ask myself when I saw those two VERY dark lines on my pregnancy test.
I found out in August 2021 that I was pregnant after almost a year of trying. While I was obviously very excited, I couldn’t help but also have a wave of panic come over me once I realized that it meant my body was going to change drastically. As a ballet dancer, there is a certain aesthetic that comes with the art form, and unfortunately, with a former eating disorder and a massive case of body dysmorphia, I was anxious as to what was to come regarding my body changing. The uterus is a safe, warm and cozy place for baby, but for a lot of women, it is often a source of pain and anxiety.
I was determined to stay active throughout my pregnancy. Whether that was getting into the gym, going on walks, or taking ballet class, I promised myself I would keep myself as healthy as possible. I was able to keep with this, until I reached my third trimester. I was diagnosed with Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction, which meant anytime I walked or moved, I had extreme pain in my pelvis. This resulted in being put on bed rest for the last three months of my pregnancy. I would later learn that the reason for this diagnosis was because of my tenacity to stay active. I pushed myself too far, didn’t slow down, and as a result, my body was FORCING me to rest. While I knew logically this was the safest option for me and my baby, the little voice in my head said “Well, what now?”
From my first OB/GYN appointment to my 39-week appointment, I had gained a total of 50 pounds. While this is a totally normal amount of weight to gain while pregnant, my body dysmorphia told me otherwise. I was ready and determined to get back into shape after I gave birth. Cut to April 20th, 2022, my water broke at 11:30pm, and it was go time! 19 hours later, my son was here! I would later learn that the reason for my pelvic pain was also due to an 8 pound 3 ounce baby living inside me. But here we are, a new family of three! The next six weeks of recovery, healing and figuring out how to keep a tiny human alive swept by faster than I could have ever imagined. Once I got the go ahead to incorporate exercise back into my life, I thought to myself “How the F&!# am I supposed to find time to exercise when I have a tiny demon attached to me 90% of the day???” It started with small walks, while my son was napping, following a YouTube workout, and eventually, I got back into a ballet class…. But not right away.
I volunteer as one of the Rehearsal Assistants at Evergreen City Ballet, which means that I assist run rehearsals and teach choreography for whatever production we are getting ready for. In this instance, we were gearing up for Nutcracker. Running these rehearsals became another form of exercise, and one that I enjoyed. Rehearsals continued on, and we got to our final weekend of shows. I made a vow to myself that night, and promised myself that I would work my butt off, so I could get in shape enough to perform in Nutcracker 2023. And not just a character role; this meant I would strap on my pointe shoes and perform in a corps role.
January 2023
I looked into as many Open Adult classes as I could. I started the week on Mondays taking a beginner’s class at Northwest Ballet Center, so I could get back to basics and work on the fundamentals of ballet technique. Since this class went from 8pm-9pm, I was able to hand off any baby-duties to my amazing Husband. I won’t lie, this was a STRUGGLE, as I also work a regular 9am-5pm corporate job. I also recognize that I have the luxury of the support of a partner, so I am able to pursue the activities I want to pursue. Even if it meant bringing my son to the studio, my heart NEEDED to be in the studio.
After a few weeks, I started taking other open classes at Evergreen City Ballet & Dance Conservatory Seattle. Both these places have a special place on my heart for a few reasons:
ECB is where I got all my training. It is my comfort- my second home.
DCS is so incredibly inclusive, so I didn’t have to worry about my body looking a certain way to fit in. This place helped me rebuild my relationship with this new body of mine.
March 2023
I got fitted for pointe shoes from the ever so lovely Samantha from Dancewear Center!
June 2023
I performed a contemporary piece with DCS, and got back on stage for the first time in 12 years.
I continued to take classes, continued to get my strength and flexibility back, and then, we get to September 2023. Nutcracker casting is posted, and I see my name on the list: Andrea Hines, Snowflake & Flower. This was a momentous time for me. I have achieved my goal. I have the opportunity to perform the same choreography I performed as a student, 13 years later. As I’m writing this, I am in between Nutcracker rehearsals, and I am just happy.
As I mentioned, I am so incredibly lucky to have the support of my Husband, Maveryke, and a part-time nanny who allows me to get out of the house so I can take class and make it to rehearsal.
I just want to share that dance after giving birth is possible. It’s cliché, but it truly takes a village. My son is lucky to have so many people who are willing to watch him so I can achieve this goal of being able to dance again. I cannot thank them enough, from the bottom of my heart. And thank you Dancewear Center for taking a chance on me as your new Ambassador, and being able to share a new perspective.
Happy Dancing, and Happy Parenting!
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